i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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