There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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