She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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