rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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