I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
