He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sext me about skeletons
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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