I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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