Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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