i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
