My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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