I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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