Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
