woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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