My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
