We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
