My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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