Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
