We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize