I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
