well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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