I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
