it wasn't lemon gatorade
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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