if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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