i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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