@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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