okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize