I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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