You can't special order awesome
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize