Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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