based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize