You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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