just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
