how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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