Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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