I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
