like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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