Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
