somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
