it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
