She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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