Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
