like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
