very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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