is your mom at the bar?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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