I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
