She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
