you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
