therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
