We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
