you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
