I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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