i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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