Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
