The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
