How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
